@shutupmikeginn: So much wasted time in public school, as an adult I've never used cursive, done algebra, or had to remember anything from sex ed.
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@lovejulieacafe: I just opened an email from the vet wishing my dog a happy birthday. I replied asking them to call her because she can't read.
@kwirkyKerri: Drops empty vodka bottles in all the neighbor's recycling bins. So the garbage men don't think it's just me.
@WilliamAder: I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.