@Parkerlawyer: So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
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@UncleBob56: Wife: What's your fantasy? Me: It involves your mom. W: Your disgusting! M: W: What is it? M: I always wished she'd taught you how to cook.
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1950. The FBI put out its first 10 Most Wanted list and my dad lost a bet because only 2 of the guys were his brothers.
@leadnotfolow: There are only 2 Canadian things I don't like: 1) Celine Dion 2) Canadian geese Guess which one is chasing me everytime I go outside.
@Brampersandon_: If I had a nickel for every time I had a nickel I would just continue getting nickels until I had all the nickels.