@Brentweets: So nice of the Oscars to give this tribute to Selma then not nominate it for anything
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@Smooheed: *signs into Skype meeting with very important clients* *tries to sound incredibly intelligent* *gets attacked by moth* *falls off chair*
@simoncholland: My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it's my fault.
@MyPornKhan: When folks unfollow me shortly after they've followed me I just figure they sobered up.