@Brentweets: So nice of the Oscars to give this tribute to Selma then not nominate it for anything
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@ArfMeasures: ME: This house is haunted WIFE [sigh] We've been thru this, that's our son SON: I just have a pale complexion Dad ME: TELL ME YOU HEARD THAT
@DrunksWithGuns: If you blast Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is", the naked old guys in the gym locker room cover up pretty damn quick.
@OtherDanOBrien: "Dark Side Tech Support." "Hi. My hand lightning won't work. The hate's flowing thru me, but nada." "Try turning the hate off & on again."
@BlazedDonuts: Apple: Words with Friends Twitter: Words w strangers FB: Words w relatives Ouija: Words w dead friends Prayer: Words w imaginary friends