@WilliamAder: So, on July 4th, one of the hottest days of the year, we're all going to sit outside of our air-conditioned homes and cook over a fire?
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@kristendrum: the cashier at Petsmart just told me I smell really good which would be a compliment if my competition wasn't a bunch of dogs and gerbils
@Ivsy01: Put all your neighbors names on your Halloween tombstones in your front yard and wink when you're outside and they walk by.
@PhilJamesson: Fortune Teller: I see a trip in your future Me [cancelling a week-long trip to Peru]: haha nope. wrong, idiot. [fall down stairs as I leave]