@andylassner: So proud watching my son fight invisible monsters in the outfield while the ball rolls right past him.
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@daemonic3: [art store] You do free framing? "With any purchase" Ok, just this pencil and [slides a gun with wife's fingerprints] you know what to do
@Jakexox: First woman on Moon: -Huston, we have a problem? What? -Never mind What's the problem? -Nothing Please tell us? -You know what's the problem
@ThaJawn: Wife: Don't forget your lunch! You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached -later that day- Horseman: I'm home! And guess what happened!