@TheFearBoners: So PSY's song "Dear American" includes the lyric "Kill them all slowly and painfully" and now I understand what Gangnam Style was all about.
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@Aspersioncast: What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?
@NotJPo: Your wife will always agree to let you go out and get drunk with your friends and as long as you're smart and don't go.
@radtoria: Whoever decided to use pantyhose as a bank robbing disguise must have had one hell of a speech to convince his buds to follow along.