@TheFearBoners: So PSY's song "Dear American" includes the lyric "Kill them all slowly and painfully" and now I understand what Gangnam Style was all about.
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@ItsLaTourette: I heard girls like guys that are mysterious so I just put a fog machine under my bed
@Ideal_Victoria: “I can’t eat all of that!” ... and other lies I tell
@LoveNLunchmeat: I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom... Then I discovered twitter.
@Lovestained555: Before I die I want to be chased through the back of a Chinese restaurant.
@gentilecoont: Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with.
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