@HonestToddler: So quick to claim someone on your taxes yet so slow to make them a snack.
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@3sunzzz: [text] H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame? M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line.
@Bagyants: The term "Expecting a baby" implies uncertainty. Like we're almost sure it's a baby, but could also be a bushel of potatoes, who knows
@QwertyJones3: MY DAD: Foreigners in this country need to learn English. ALSO MY DAD: I heard you got a new hi-bird car.