@cornlog: So rude of Ashton Kutcher to file divorce papers right before Demi Moore's 150th birthday.
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@iAmDelFreaky: 2: Where mommy? Me: Mommy's at a meeting. 2: Mommy is meat? Me: No. Well...yes, but only if we ever get stranded on an island. 2: Ok.
@djr_102: There's an epidemic in Britain that makes vulnerable young women inexplicably attracted to douchebags who miss leg day.
@KingRainhead: i always wear this epi pen its rly special. my friend gave it to me literally as he was dying it seemed very important to him that i have it