@cornlog: So rude of Ashton Kutcher to file divorce papers right before Demi Moore's 150th birthday.
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@Ygrene: [being murdered by cows] more like (finger quotes) "moodered" amirite [the other farm animals immediately join in, even some corn is mad]
@canadasandra: What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
@Marlebean: I just plugged the charger into my phone, in the correct hole, on the first try. So it IS possible, guys. IT. IS. POSSIBLE.
@InternetHippo: *turns on the news* I wonder if things are getting better in the wor-- tv: AN ALLIGATOR ATE A BABY