@Matty_Softmitts: So say some animals *were* injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? "Bob hurt one bird. He's very sorry."
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@tigersgoroooar: hate when the barista asks "do you want whipped cream?" it feels there are only two answers: "yes please, i'm fat." or "no thanks, i'm fat."
@JT_IV_: If you are cornered by raccoons in the wild then place your thumb and index finger tips together- make a bandit mask. They will accept you.
@Jenny4ashley: [leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? "Oh wow, how embarrassing" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*
@melpraktis: When people say "You look so familiar" responding with "Were we in prison together?" is almost always a conversation killer.