@Matty_Softmitts: So say some animals *were* injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? "Bob hurt one bird. He's very sorry."
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@camelSWAG69: "You may now kiss the bride" Wow this is the happiest day of- *dad flies by in hot air ballon* QUEEERR *throws football at my head*
@997omar: Whenever I meet a new baby, I stand still and let it come up to me and smell my hand first before I try to pet it
@TheBeerGuy73: Pro tip: Wives do not find it hilarious when you add a bunch of extra candles to their surprise birthday cake. I know this now.