@IntrepidDeviant: So she was like, "Put on some protection". I then pulled out & wore a yellow construction hat. We laughed & laughed & now I have herpes.
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@CelebrityChez: Imagine creating a lifetime of mystery for someone by breaking into their home and replacing all their family photos with pictures of eggs.
@KentWGraham: ME: We live in an uncaring universe void of meaning and purpose. WIFE: I understand, but you’re still folding all this laundry.