@blippoblappo: so Slate set up a "who can write the worst article" competition today
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@Ooft_Headshot: Toy Story has resulted in me not being able to throw away my childhood toys in case they get depressed and want to kill themselves.
@Parentpains: When all else fails burn shit, people will forget how much of a failure you are when they see stuff on fire.
@thongbeard: Just texted her "thanks for choking on me" I meant "checking" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be.
@alive_and_dying: One day, when you least expect it, every single one of your problems will finally be gone. Oddly enough, so will you.