@JaneBadall: So sorry I hit a nerve. I was actually aiming for a major artery.
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@envydatropic: The forecast isn't calling for rain so I'm just going to wash my car to prove the weatherman wrong
@TheBoydP: I’m not saying it’s hard for me to lose weight, I’m just saying if you interrupt me when I’m eating I’m starting over.
@sammyrhodes: Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor.
@BuckyIsotope: *rolls up to teens on skateboard* Hello kids. Can I interest you in a marijuana party? *pulls out bong with evidence sticker on it* dammit