@SomeChrisTweets: SO SPEAKETH THE OUIJA BOARD, "N E W N U M B E R W H O I S T H I S"
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@baeblacksheep: If laughing is good for you because you use 15 muscles, think how healthy you'll be if you're breaking a chair on someone's head every day.
@zachreinert03: finally sold everything that reminded me of my ex. kinda nice, I got $20 for her clothes, $50 for her tv, and $100 for our kid
@TheAlexNevil: "In just 4 years, you can get a 4 year degree!" Yes, "university" commercial--that math checks out.