@JesKeepSwimming: "So tell me more about yourse-PUT DOWN MY FRIES IF YOU WANT TO WALK OUT OF HERE WITH ALL 4 LIMBS INTACT." - What not to say on a first date.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SINGING_GHOSTS: i imagine my dog spends a lot of time thinking about how tall i am and how great it is to have a giant as a best friend who can reach treats
@thepunningman: [on deathbed] "Tell my Wif... *cough*" Yes? Tell her what? "Tell my Wifi provider their broadband speeds were moderate at best" [dies]
@TheTimmyToes: [finally rich enough to go to a tailor] "How can I help you sir?" One clothes please!