@JesKeepSwimming: "So tell me more about yourse-PUT DOWN MY FRIES IF YOU WANT TO WALK OUT OF HERE WITH ALL 4 LIMBS INTACT." - What not to say on a first date.
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@KentWGraham: When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful.
@spookperson: white people eradicated entire populations for spices and yet the bay leaf remains a mystery