@bmarked21: So the suicide hotline is only for prevention and not for nominating people who should kill themselves. Sucks. I made a list and everything.
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@JediGigi: [end of date] Him: I'll text you soon. Her: Cool. I'll just sit here in your car until you do.
@Lord_Voldemort7: Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should band together to create a compilation album entitled "Maybe it's not us, it's you..."
@sageboggs: Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake
@ItsAndyRyan: Satan's greatest trick is convincing you he's not real but there's a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose