@bmarked21: So the suicide hotline is only for prevention and not for nominating people who should kill themselves. Sucks. I made a list and everything.
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@marcia_bee: Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo.
@PyrBliss: The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that's not a risk I'm willing to take.
@Playing_Dad: Happy Passive Aggressive day! Don't worry, I didn't want you to get me anything anyway. No, it's fine. Don't worry about it.
@the_anastasia: My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president.