@bmarked21: So the suicide hotline is only for prevention and not for nominating people who should kill themselves. Sucks. I made a list and everything.
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@KalvinMacleod: HR: How do you think we can better handle this in the future? ME [glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut]: idk, maybe don’t hire Cheryl
@torrami: My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus
@Rich_McCarthy: Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
@amydillon: Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus.