@_PerziaN_: So this killed me..#maths
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@thejoelstein: 4-yr-old son gave smartest answer ever to "How do you know if something is art?" "People tell you."
@Fred_Delicious: "guns don't kill people, guns CREATE people!" *fires 10 newborn babies out of a bazooka*
@holyscum: boss: r u flexible this week me: i used 2 be able 2 do a split in 4th grade i mean i could try but idk if there's enough space in ur office
@AndyAsAdjective: ME: [shouting upstairs] dinner's ready! 6YR OLD: what are we having? ME: you'll like it! trust me! 6: I ain't falling for that shit again