@my_bitz: So true for me
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@vladchoc: Don't want to get political on here but there's no such thing as "endless shrimp." Heads? Tails? Those are two VISIBLE ends THAT WE KNOW OF.
@thagr8short1: I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
@dshack8: Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them.
@EndhooS: [Job interview] Me: [thinking] I hope he doesn't notice the mustard on my shirt Interviewer: [thinking] Is he eating a fkn hotdog?