@my_bitz: So true for me
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@goldengateblond: Lady at the door asked if I'd found Jesus and I was all HOW IS HE MISSING, IT WAS YOUR DAY TO WATCH HIM. I don't think she'll be back.
@CoopSoSarc: We decided to go out for bbq tonight. As it turns out, I'm too immature to discuss how to smoke your meat with strangers.
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1914. The first WWI trenches were dug if you don't count the one my grandfather was already hiding from the officers in
@StevieKnip: [accidentally hits Siri in high school classroom] Siri: what can I do for you, #1 God of Sex? [every boy in the class checks their phone]