@my_bitz: So true for me
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@thepunningman: Wife: But the zoo told you never to come back Me: [loading hotdogs into shotgun] Those giraffes can't live on salad, Eleanor
@senorwinces: Just bought a 2013 calender, a rope and a stool. I like to keep the store clerk guessing.
@TwatWaffler69: Wife: "they're disgusting, they carry diseases, they eat garbage!" Me: are we talking about your parents, raccoons, or the kids?