@STOPFLEXIN: So we asked papa johns to write a joke on our pizza
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@WeissBrandon: I'd never lie just to get a girl to sleep with me, is one of my favorite lies to tell girls that I am trying to sleep with.
@Vodkantots: I never said that I hated you! All I said is that I hope you have your period when the next Sharknado comes around.
@aksorojas: "Yeah, and she's not breathing. Should I call someone?" "Yes!" "Hello! Yes, hello Pizza Hut, she's not breathing."