@_SetTheHook_: So, when people say "LOLZ", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
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@Okeating: I didn't take my husband's name when I got married. I figured it'd be confusing if we were both called Keith.
@JCautomatic: [Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist
@imskytrash: cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you me: yeah he was not nice