@JoeP187: So when people say they religiously do something. Does that mean they do it really hypocritically and fairy tale like?
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@murrman5: *walks in house wearing a large neck brace* oh no, what happened? "my earbud cord got caught on a chair while I was walking"
@MrsGoose69: Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk.
@MdUNH: Cats are perfect for those who want to experience the indifference and hostility of the workplace in a pet.
@Book_Krazy: Ok, Don't let them know you're an egg "Mr Yolk, you are 20 minutes late for this interview" [drags on cig] I was getting laid by a chick