@sfreeze6: So who WERE Huey, Dewey and Louie's parents, anyway? And why did they let them spend so much time with their insane, pantsless uncle?
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@The_Grant_Boldt: *at Starbucks* "Ya I'll have the medium roast please" *Barista insults him a lot but not too much*
@BrainFumbles: They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn't land on her feet and now I'm in jail for murder.
@PimpBillClinton: To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on.
@economybacon: "My anger began to flow through me like hot mountain sweat.." Um, don't you mean "Lava"? "...like warm hill pee"