@Vice_Queen: So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?
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@AGreaterMonster: Fruitcake is like marriage. It takes two things that are great on their own and mashes them together into one thing that sucks.
@djdarrellripley: Her: I'm sorry my baby keeps crying. He's got teeth coming in. Me: Well, don't worry, I'll sign for them...
@findmydolls: It's cute that kids think they're safer with the light on, when actually it makes you more vulnerable and easier to spot.