@kashanacauley: So you're all Obama fans now? Name 3 of his albums.
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@Marlebean: [Interviewing to be a mortician] Do you have any experience handling dead bodies? -Well I get my sleepy kids ready for school every day.
@Smooheed: Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying 'don't worry baby, I'll catch you if you fall' makes him run for a really really long time
@kyry5: The reason I switched from a backpack to a messenger bag is so that I look more classy and professional carrying nothing but snacks to work.
@hythemafia: To all newly married guys..... If you screw up Valentine’s Day, you’ll be celebrating Palm Sunday for a long time.