@kashanacauley: So you're all Obama fans now? Name 3 of his albums.
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@patnspankme: In 5 more years people will be notified of their termination of employment via emoji.
@TotallyAllen: HOW TO START A CONVERSATION ON THE BUS: Look longingly out the window and remark, "Such a shame this is all just gonna burn."
@itsdivbaby: when i hear fat people say that they've made mistakes, i always think to myself, "yeaa...at the grocery store."