@Amburglar_: Sochi is doing that thing where they manically try to clean the house 10 minutes before company arrives. But the house is Russia.
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@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
@FBSisnothere: "Ladies, calm down. Girlfriend, wife, whatever. The important thing is that between the 2 of you, you brought enough to post my bail"
@TeaPainUSA: Mike Huckabee calls Obama a "pretend Christian", and if anyone's an expert on "pretend Christians", it's Mike Huckabee.
@AimeeHelene1: *puts finger over your lips* Shhhhhhhhhhhhh *feeds you more applesauce making airplane noises*