@Amburglar_: Sochi is doing that thing where they manically try to clean the house 10 minutes before company arrives. But the house is Russia.
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@sploosk: Welcome to Insults Я Us, you sack of crap. Buy some stuff if you're not too cheap. Maybe eat out of a garbage can. You'd probably like that
@Sleinso: I am at my most drunk when I go from chat room to chat room yelling WHO STOLE MY POPTART!!
@Book_Krazy: Them: We're concerned about you. We think you're a Black Widow [offers me cake & coffee] Me: No thanks. I'm trying not to eat between males
@abbycohenwl: I need an aggressive dog-barking sound on my phone, for whenever anyone knocks on the bathroom door when I'm in there