@Amburglar_: Sochi is doing that thing where they manically try to clean the house 10 minutes before company arrives. But the house is Russia.
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@VeganZebra: [after putting a fake mustache on an elephant] FRIEND: You seen my elephant? ME: no FRIEND: [eyeing elephant] Maybe this fine gentleman has
@carlyken: [lawyer whispers to plaintiff] two can play this game "Your honor. Upsexy." Judge: what's upsexy? "that's harassment. move to change venues"
@ddsmidt: A fight or flight situation. Like when you go to pick up your kid and the teacher's walking towards you with "the look" on her face.