@MikeZakarian: Social media allows me to review all my mistakes in chronological order...with pictures.
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@Paxochka: I'm not taking the Democrat convention seriously until someone starts talking to a table.
@TheBoydP: I may be getting old but not “doesn’t know what day of the week it is” old. I can tell by which day I open on my daily pill organizer.
@Storminika: Every time Nicki Minaj tells someone their voice isn't good enough on Idols, someone is crushed to death by the weight of the irony.