@MikeZakarian: Social media allows me to review all my mistakes in chronological order...with pictures.
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@jwomackou: Wife: how'd you get that burn on your arm?? Me (looking fabulous): not from your curling iron
@sad_tree: *shows up to date with horse drawn carriage* "I'm so surprised!" Yes it's a terrible drawing of a carriage but he didn't have thumbs so