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@_youhadonejob: Social media explained.
@donni: YOU: Please be aware--
ME: I'm not. I never will be. I've never even SEEN a "ware"
@Maui_Speaks: It should be illegal to play a police siren on the radio. Signed, my pants.
@Reverend_Scott: GUY: I wish girls liked comics.
GIRL: I love comics.
GUY: Oh really? Then what's the Hulk's favorite flavor ice cream?
@lucidchemistry: Go to an open house and ask the realtor if they'll stand in the basement with the door closed so you can hear if screams are audible outside
@brendohare: Bart Simpson is bad for this country of America