@OhNoSheTwitnt: Social media is great. Before Facebook I'd never know what the girl who wrote "dirty Jew" on my 8th grade locker was thankful for this year.
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@Ygrene: No time to exercise? Get the results of a 30 minute workout in only 3 seconds by accidentally stepping on your cat on the stairs in the dark
@iamburtjarvis: [in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. righty-tighty, lefty-loosey her: what? me: what?