@Goggner: Social services would take the kids away if they saw my house right now. Does anyone have their phone number?
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@MotherJonestown: STAGES OF DRUNK: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don't wake up the cows.
@flashember: ME: I have so many questions SOOTHSAYER: forsooth ME: Exactly lol S: SOOTH ME: Yeah so- S: Sooth? ME: You only say sooth eh S: *nods* sooth
@JarrettsPosts: my grandpa doesn’t use his blinker because “its no one else’s business where he’s going”
@mrsjohngoodman: I ran over someone and now there's a bunch of flowers where it happened. It's like, I came back to apologize, not be lavished with gifts