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@Ray_stephan: Society: Be yourself.
Society: No not like that
@TheAlexNevil: *first date
(Me, texting) This is awful. She's boring, has no sense of humor & rude
Her: You know you speak out loud when you text, right?
@MindyFurano: Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
@KKAlThani: Can't believe Nintendo didn't make a commercial for the Wii where a guy breaks up with a girl by saying "It's not you, It's Wii".
@XGroverX: Wait one second "Mario Brothers" Implies that Luigi's name is Luigi Mario and Mario's name is Mario Mario....What is this I'm smoking again?
@tiemespankme: I like long walks along the beach until the drugs wear off & I realize I'm actually crawling through the sand at the local construction site