@ozzyunc: Society's a wreck because Superman has nowhere to change.
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@thepunningman: Ikea said if they catch me stealing any more kitchen utensils I'll be banned for life. But I'm willing to take the whisk.
@brunopieroni: Just ran into Björk walking into her hjötel. Ljöking fjörward to her show at Pitchfjörk tjönight (hjöly shit my Icelandic is pjërfect).
@WildeThingy: Food wedding anniversaries: Year 1: champagne 2: strawberries 3: chocolate 4: donuts 5: protein shakes 6: microwave meal 7: Rat poison