@NotJPo: Sodomy? SodoYOU. JK, please sodomy.
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@david8hughes: [wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] "What did the priest have to say?" "He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."
@iGreenMonk: The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality.
@MomOfTeen: For Mother's Day, I told my teens, I'm going to reenact every detail of each of your births.