@1Happytwit: Some bloke on FB called me a clown. Now I've got to go hide under his bed with a knife cause that's what clowns do.
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@Pappiness: Eric Trump said the Syria strike was swayed by a "heartbroken" Ivanka. He also pouted that dad has never bombed a country for him.
@Parkerlawyer: I just passed a beer truck on the highway. "Wait a minute. I'm named after beer?!!?" -My 6 yr old son, Miller
@slennonhugs: I'm a simple man *bites a pinecone* I enjoy simple things *tosses a gun into a lake* that's why I decided to let these bees live in my skull