@CWKhalil: Some cats just sit there looking at you like you owe them money.
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@Kyle_Lippert: It's absurd how none of the chicks at this park are recognizing my swag *puts flip phone back in my fanny pack. Rollerblades away*
@DeadLioness: They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.
@weinerdog4life: one time my cousin greg put on two jean jackets and he exploded, there was mustache everywhere
@JesseWeller: Oh, hey guys how were the bars tonight? That's cool. In case you were wondering all of the Harry Potter movies are still really good.