@_Like_A_Dimond: Some collage just called me saying they accepted me to their collage..
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@maisonwithapen: *shitting pants, crying, missing my shoe* yoga instructor: you need to leave me: oh is this not child's pose?
@Qckhd: Girlfriend kept nagging at me to put the toilet seat down. So here I am, crying in the middle of a field, with the seat & a shotgun.
@Rollinintheseat: If a British person calls 911 and says, "It's a bloody mess" how does the operator know if there's blood or the person is just being British
@JiminyKicksIt: It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.