@_Like_A_Dimond: Some collage just called me saying they accepted me to their collage..
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@SliNtuli: People focus too much on the treachery of the wolf in sheep's clothing and not at all at the wolf's exceptional sewing skills.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Today's lunch: Pan fried pork chops, cheesy hash brown casserole, peach cobbler, a quick defibrillation and two stents.
@OtherDanOBrien: [Bomb will explode in 26 seconds] *googles "how to defuse a bomb"* *clicks top result* *it's a 17-page slideshow.* GODDAMMIT *an ad plays*