@ramblinma: Some days having kids makes it all worthwhile. I haven't experienced any yet, but statistically they're bound to happen at some point.
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@iGreenMonk: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unless that beholder is your mom cause we all know that doesn't count.
@jergarl: *goes to bank Me: Hi, I need a loan. Banker: How much and what for? Me: Seventy three thousand. I'm making guacamole for the super bowl.
@murrman5: [during dinner on a date] "I'm currently in university" how long is your degree? "normally a year, but I have dial up, so probably 2"
@TheTweetOfGod: My advice for anyone who wants more followers is simple: Form them from dust and breathe into their nostrils. #workedforMe