@NikiWithIssues: Some days I want to leave everything and just run away with him. Other days I want to own 3 baby dragons and be fireproof and naked.
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@rockymomax: [baby finally falls asleep] ME: *tip toes to couch* I can finally relax DOG: I'M GONNA BARK FOR NO REASON
@LaziestCanine: Doctor: this might hurt a little bit Me: okay Doctor: i like you, but only as a friend
@AndyAsAdjective: When the chips are down, be a good friend & say a few kind words to the chips. See if that helps.
@mynameisntdave: RACIST: im a racist! ME: uh oh RACIST: yea I race cars! ME: oh. I dont think u know what racist means RACIST: & I hate Jews! ME: there it is