@NikiWithIssues: Some days I want to leave everything and just run away with him. Other days I want to own 3 baby dragons and be fireproof and naked.
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@the_hawlk: TEACHER: what's your favorite color? ME: my favorite color is turkwoyse TEACHER: spell it ME: actually my favorite color is red
@TheBeerGuy73: I consider it a personal victory everytime that I don't ask a person wearing a leg cast if they've broken their leg.
@XplodingUnicorn: [hardware store] Me: Let me do the talking. This is man stuff Wife: Fine Clerk: Can I help you? Me: I need a whacker thingy to hit nails