@samalmightysam: Some days you're just really stupid. 365 to be exact.
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@kelkulus: India launched a rocket to Mars this morning. That's a heck of a place to put a call centre.
@NickAmadeus: Every Ryan Gosling movie is about what would happen if a really weird guy was also incredibly attractive.
@gruffybeard: Son: The landscapers almost hit me with their truck. Dad: So you're saying they almost... Mom: Don't do it! Dad: ...mowed you down.