@Roweboat13G: Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg and some days you're that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.
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@Vodkantots: I'm incredibly flattered that my therapist thinks I should be in anger management. I've never even held an entry-level position.
@joejwest: ME: Pet it OPTIMUS PRIME: But I'm afraid of it ME: It's just a dog OP: Oh..ok [reaches out] DOG: [sneezes] OP: [transforms into large truck]
@Glove_Monkey: Someone once told me "If you love something, set it free". I told them not to mind about those noises coming from the basement.