@TheDreamGhoul: some dogs can find bodies that have been buried for years & mine can't even find a cracker that hit him in the face on the way to the floor
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@garrettbarry70: Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out that she eats spaghetti with a knife.
@AndrewChamings: If you’re forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you’ve got another Thing coming.
@dshack8: Hell hath no fury like a woman not getting responses to her text messages while she sees that you're continuing to tweet.
@Kim_pulsive: I plan to scary-haunt anyone who says "she wouldn't want us to be sad" at my funeral. If you're not sad that I'm gone forever you deserve it