@Eightinchgoat: Some dude just asked if I was "herb friendly". I told him I like basil and dill and he walked off. Guess he didn't have thyme to discuss it.
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@WilliamAder: Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it.
@shadygrenade: "Kids, grandma just had hip surgery so I need to warn you, she's not herself." *grandma struts in wearing skinny jeans and smoking an E-cig*