@crushingbort: Some dude just ran into Starbucks, grabbed coconut water yelling "white people milk" and left. Went outside, coconut water all over street
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@TheTweetOfGod: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Unless they're darker than, say, beige."- Statue of Liberty.
@SSDated: Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!
@Eightinchgoat: Her: I LOVE your beard! Me: Thanks, yours is coming in nicely, too! Flirting with women my age is hard, guys.
@TheTweetOfGod: I am not fake. I am not a parody. I am the Lord thy God, King of the Universe, you cosmic dipshits.