@ceejoyner: Some fancy kids just egged my house with quail eggs. I went out to yell, and one of them garnished me with chives.
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@fro_vo: "Hey Cyclops are you still dating Jean?" "No Storm, we broke up. You could say she's my..." *lowers sunglasses* *eye beams obliterate Storm*
@rzarosco: MY AUNT: All we can do now is pray DOCTOR: Oh nice so I should put down this cardio thoracic surgical instrument? We're good here?
@backporchlady: My black pants had more cat hair on them after they came out of the dryer. Guess I should check the dryer for cats before I start it.
@delasoulless: Faster! Faster! Faster! Don't stop! Almost there!Yes! YESSSS! -me trying to get everyone through the traffic light.