@Sassafrantz: Some guy just asked if I was Asian cuz he's China get in my pants. Hope your day is as magical as mine.
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@yoopnative: I'm broke but not "vacuums the air filter* instead of replacing it" broke. *more than twice.
@SortaBad: When my wife is out of town my sleeping position changes from 'balancing on edge of bed' to 'snow angel'
@BillDixonish: If Billy Joel rewrote We Didn't Start The Fire based on the past 2 weeks, it would be 45 minutes long.