@Sassafrantz: Some guy just asked if I was Asian cuz he's China get in my pants. Hope your day is as magical as mine.
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@birbigs: "You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?" -Jesus #GoodFriday
@AndyAsAdjective: Baby, tonight let's put the kids to bed, pour some wine, turn the lights down low & argue over whose turn it is to move the Elf on the Shelf
@Glove_Monkey: Someone once told me "If you love something, set it free". I told them not to mind about those noises coming from the basement.
@XplodingUnicorn: Don’t do drugs, kids. The extra demand will drive up the price for the rest of us.