@LizHackett: Some guy tried to cut me off in traffic and I screamed, "I'm wearing a sports bra to a business meeting, I am afraid of nothing!"
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@JRevard: My bf asked me to act like a "naughty school girl" for him so I forged a note from my mom saying I don't have to participate.
@krustythe_klown: Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"? Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.
@Jack_C44: Hello couchness my old friend I've come to sleep on you again Because a wife softly seething Hates the fact that I'm breathing
@TheWoodenslurpy: I'd like to meet a failed scientist, like I do writers. "I science on the weekends and for free sometimes. I think of it more as a hobby."