@LizHackett: Some guy tried to cut me off in traffic and I screamed, "I'm wearing a sports bra to a business meeting, I am afraid of nothing!"
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@heatherlou_: As a mom, I'm super excited about the rock collection my daughter just told me she's starting.
@TotallyAllen: HOW TO START A CONVERSATION ON THE BUS: Look longingly out the window and remark, "Such a shame this is all just gonna burn."
@WilliamAder: Unable to stop their phones and washing machines from exploding, Samsung announced today they're changing their name to the ACME Corp.