@Cheeseboy22: Some jerk called me "pretentious" so I called him a "planktupus." I can make up nonsense words too.
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@DaddyJew: Legend has it that if you don't look a coworker in the eye they won't stop to tell you about their weekend.
@Sickayduh: Lawyer: The defense rests Judge: Counselor, your rebuttal? Lawyer: HAHAHA that sounded like "you're a butthole" Judge: LOLOLOL #Buttle
@KeetPotato: waiter: "have we decided yet sir?" me: [after practicing saying gnocchi to myself for 15 minutes] "the margarita pizza please"