@Cpin42: Some lady at Olive Garden died, so we’re rummaging through her stuff. Just like a real family.
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@meladoodle: Hate it when dudes say "leave something to the imagination!" like what do you think is under my clothes? a mystery prize? a pumpkin? Obama?
@angibangie: Him: What long nails you have! Me: All the better to capture your DNA with if you murder me. *dating is easy
@BurbidgeJames: "If you started at 16 and work until you're 23. That would give you 10 years of experience." Back to school for you My friend!
@mynameisntdave: [sex] GF: u bring protection? ME: ya [i show a gun] GF: not what I meant ME: I kno, I have a fox guarding us. The gun is for if it wigs out