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@TheBoydP: Protip: Never take your wife with you to your annual checkup. She will tell the doctor way too much about you.
@emmatheist: [Google search history] Moles How to kill moles How to make homemade bombs Rescue moles from cave-in Dealing with regret Mole stew
@thejakeshenry: I was pretty excited about this box of elbows before I saw that it was only macaroni.
@NikkiNeverAgain: Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich.