@WilliamAder: Some lady on The Price is Right just won a brand new 2016 Epi-Pen.
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@girlontapas: I do things for others... Like when I'm drunk dancing by myself, Billy Idol style, and I save my friends from being seen with me.
@therealeatwood: They needed three Back to the Future movies so they could cover life’s three great concerns: one’s birth, one’s future legacy, and cowboy
@philmann: PRIEST: In the beginning there was the word ME: capsicum P: no M: tumescent gerund caliphate P: stop trying to guess the word M: maelstrom