@WilliamAder: Some lady on The Price is Right just won a brand new 2016 Epi-Pen.
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@ShanaRose21: Every time I use hand sanitizer I wonder about the 0.1% of bacteria that isn't killed. What the hell kind of scary shit is that?
@jwoodham: Dating is a win-win. If things go well, you eat food and fall in love. If they don't, you still eat food and that's all that really matters.
@donni: Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, though, it's every man for himself