@WilliamAder: Some lady on The Price is Right just won a brand new 2016 Epi-Pen.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AristotlesNZ: Whenever I'm picking up my wife I skid to a stop by her & yell "Come with me if you want to live!" so she knows she married pure awesomeness
@squirrel74wkgn: *looks over back shoulder* *puts car in reverse* Wife: OH MY GOD *slams brakes* Me: WHAT? Wife: Becky just posted the cutest picture
@BorowitzReport: Romney: "I have nothing but respect for women. I'm good friends with the owners of some."
@_NinJar: *wakes up in hospital* What happened? "It was a heart attack" Will I be ok? *a big heart outside slowly taps on window with a bat* "No"