@llvvzz: Some of my best friends started out as bad choices.
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@Sassafrantz: My whole life has felt like one big hammock and everybody is watching me try to get out of it.
@CulturedRuffian: Sounds painful and this is the weirdest pick up line ever. Can I just pay for my stuff and leave? Mmm-k, Thanks.
@heatherlou_: Having one bathroom in your house teaches you that it is possible to hate a person because of a bathroom.
@stephenjmolloy: Ian: "I'd like to report my guide dog missing." Cop: "Right. When did you last see him?" Ian: "I've never seen him."