@llvvzz: Some of my best friends started out as bad choices.
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@abhorrent_wife: I just apologized for sending someone a text using shouty font because I couldn't remember the term "all caps".
@junejuly12: No thanks hot air balloons. I prefer to fly in 75 ton metal tubes as God and the Wright brothers intended.
@panmidwest: BOSS: OK! Who smashed a hole through the wall?! [Everyone in the office stares at me, even the Kool-Aid man]