@lovemydogduck: Some of my co-workers want to go hang out tonight. Trying to figure how to fake my death and still make it into work tomorrow.
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@Elizasoul80: I tell my boyfriend I love him all the time and all he says are things like "make a left in 300 feet" and "you've reached your destination."
@kelkulus: Revenge idea if a girlfriend dumps you: sneak into her house, tighten the lids on all her jars.
@Michael_Erhart: Every time you push the potato button on your microwave, a potato appears in someone else's microwave.